‘Deipnophobia’ — understanding the fear of dining with others

While many people feel they are missing out amid COVID-19 restrictions imposed on group dining, with it regarded as a factor that leads to the spread of infections, there are some who feel relieved by the current situation.

Nishinippon Shimbun’s team of reporters on its “Journalism On Demand” beat received a note from a 61-year-old man living in the Kyushu region who suffers from ‘deipnophobia,’ or anxiety around eating in public.

In many cases, deipnophobia is triggered by past traumatic events related to eating. Some people even have to give up employment or other public activities because they are unable to dine with others.

For the Kyushu man, the condition came on suddenly at a friend’s house during his second year of high school.

In a gathering together with four other boys and girls, the group was chatting while enjoying snacks. The man was holding a snack in his hand, but all of a sudden he realized he couldn’t put it in his mouth. He felt like he was floating in the air, and broke into a cold sweat.

A friend noticed that something was wrong with him and encouraged him to eat more, but he couldn’t take even one more bite.

Since then, he has been unable to eat with anyone other than his family. He gets intensely worried and scared of others seeing him eat, as he fears he might not be eating in a proper way. He tries putting food into his mouth but is unable to chew it properly, and ends up just sweating all over.

Ever since that time the man has declined invitations to meals, making up excuses and saying he has things to do or is not feeling well. Being unable to do normal things, he feels irritated and ashamed of himself.

Having thought long and hard about why he might have developed such an affliction, what came to mind were memories of the time before he entered elementary school. He recalled his normally calm parents arguing during dinner at home; his father raised his voice, and a bowl thrown by his mother smashed against a low dining table and broke. At the time, he remained perfectly still and waited for the moment to pass.

There were two such incidents, and he thinks they might be the reason for his condition. After becoming an adult, he was able to enjoy dining with others with the help of alcohol. But he would never do it without drinking.

The man feels jealous of food reporters on TV programs who appear to enjoy eating while talking. When he sees them, he feels like they are showing off a joy in meeting others that he has been unable to experience.

People develop deipnophobia when a part of the brain called the amygdala that affects emotions such as anxiety and fear becomes overactive, due to negative events in the past related to eating.

A support group created by those with deipnophobia conducted a survey in 2019 covering 642 people with the symptoms, and 34.7% of the respondents said they had developed the fear because of the experience of being instructed or forced not to leave anything when eating their meals.

Among them, 72.1% had received such instruction from teachers during lunchtimes at school, 14.3% were chastised by family or relatives and 9.4% by instructors of club activities.

Osamu Tajima, a psychiatrist and professor emeritus at Kyorin University who is well-versed in deipnophobia, said people with the phobia “not only suffer from physical symptoms, including nausea and shaking, but also face difficulties such as losing opportunities to interact with others.”

There are cases of such people becoming sick as they were unable to eat meals during training camps for club activities, or quitting a company because they couldn’t eat during the induction program for new employees.

The first step to treat the phobia is to get rid of false assumptions that you have to eat in a proper way, or that people will get mad at you if you leave some food. It will make things worse if you avoid dining with other people or make yourself eat all the food on your plate.

Experts say the phobia is relatively easy to overcome with continued treatment with both medication and cognitive behavioral therapy.

Kenta Yamaguchi, head of the support group, said, “While people with deipnophobia are relieved that there are fewer chances of group dining due to the COVID-19 pandemic, they are also concerned that there are fewer opportunities for treatment and feel uneasy thinking about dining with others after the pandemic settles down.”

The group organizes an event about once a month at cafes in Tokyo or Osaka or online, during which people with deipnophobia can eat things they like while talking with others, or intentionally leave food.

The group also operates a website in Japanese to offer information including guides for school teachers.

“In order for them to overcome the symptoms, it is important to have an environment where they can feel comfortable,” Yamaguchi said. “We want to create a society where many people can enjoy having meals.”

This section features topics and issues from the Kyushu region covered by the Nishinippon Shimbun, the largest daily newspaper in Kyushu. The original article was published Feb. 24.